|Security first, respect for personal space second|
Security in Mumbai is of the upmost importance and rightly so. When entering any restaurant, hotel or shop you are likely to be frisked, have your bags checked and go through some sort of detector, but when you’re wearing a tight skirt with your legs on show and a tight top with your arms on show, I think it’s clear to see you have nothing to hide. As I put my bag through the X- ray machine a very petite, very unthreatening looking Security Lady took me behind the partition and started frisking me with a large electrical paddle. Normally it’s just a quick pat on your belt and near your pockets and away you go, but today was different; she slowly moved the paddle up and down both of my naked legs, all around my back, under my hair, down each arm, over my chest and around my middle. I’m not going to lie, I felt slightly abused, Paul even popped his head round to see what was taking so long, she quickly finished. The only conclusions I could come up with for this unusual behavior was A) I looked really dodgy B) She was very serious about her job and wanted to be thorough C) She was Lesbian. I’m going with C.
For cheap thrills and delicious sandwiches visit the Oberoi Sandwich Shop- Oberoi Hotel, Sir Dorab Tata Rd , Nariman Point, Mumbai, 022 6632 5757